


Vulnerable

by bellestar



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Genre: Author is Nervous about This, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, First Kiss, First Star Wars fic, Force Bond (Star Wars), Mild spoilers for TROS, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Short & Sweet, Some angst, Very new to tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22312111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellestar/pseuds/bellestar
Summary: The Kylo Ren she knows wouldn’t have taken her observation lightly. Before her is not the Supreme Leader of the First Order hellbent on destruction of the galaxy, but the man whose hand she desperately wanted to take all those weeks ago.Ben Solo looks as broken as he did in Snoke’s throne room when he pleaded with her to join him.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello. So. After watching TROS, I didn't realize I was always on the Rey/Ben Solo ship until it was literally sinking in front of me in the theatre and I needed to dive in and chain myself to the railing as it went down. I'm terribly out of practice in writing fan fiction (it's been close to 15 years!) but I needed to get this out of my system after re-watching The Last Jedi and taking elements from TROS. Some inspiration comes from the song 'Vulnerable' by Selena Gomez that I discovered through a Reylo playlist on Spotify (there are some great playlists, you guys!)
> 
> Set between The Last Jedi and TROS, a small one shot of Ben Solo being vulnerable with Rey.

The hum of their bond almost deafens her when she walks into her quarters and she discovers his huddled form sitting in floor in the corner of the room. It’s been weeks since they last saw one another, and this is not exactly a welcomed appearance. Not since their last interaction at the Battle of Crait. Her hands ball into fists by her sides when Ben lifts his head to look at her.

“What are you doing here?” she asks coolly. He shrugs as he shifts his position on the floor to pull his knees into his chest. Ben’s head leans back as wisps of hair fall against his forehead and eyes. It does little to hide the pained emotion on his face.

“If I knew how to control this do you honestly believe that I would come here?” His quiet response doesn’t settle her nerves as she crosses the room away from him, but her eyes never leave his.

“Can you leave?”

“I don’t think that’s how this,” he motions between them, “works.”

Rey groans in frustration. “And what exactly is this? Why are you sitting here in my quarters?”

“Is that where I am? Because I can’t see your surroundings. Can you see mine?”

She shakes her head. “Just you.” The words echo from their first Force visit.

Rey’s hands fall from their balled fists as she relaxes. She doesn’t sense that she’s in danger and Ben’s pitiful appearance gives her the impression that he didn’t come here tonight to fight. It feels like the night in the stone hut on Ahch-To. Their roles are reversed this time, but the answers to the questions they seek remain the same.

“It’s hard to ignore that you look rather miserable,” she tells him.

Ben’s mirthless laugh takes Rey by surprise; she expected to get an angry rise out of him. The Kylo Ren she knows wouldn’t have taken her observation lightly. Before her is not the Supreme Leader of the First Order hellbent on destruction of the galaxy, but the man whose hand she desperately wanted to take all those weeks ago. Ben Solo looks as broken as he did in Snoke’s throne room when he pleaded with her to join him. 

She moves to sit in the floor across from him, mirroring his position by drawing her knees into her chest. She finds that the usual walls that he has up when they have these encounters through the Force are down and it allows her an opportunity to see into his mind. Deep feelings of sadness and regret pour from him and it nearly drowns her. The storm in his mind rages like an ocean in a hurricane.

“You still feel that conflict,” Rey says in a hushed tone. She’s torn between feeling relieved the Ben Solo that she knows is still there and feeling scared that he’s slipping under crashing waves and he’ll never surface again. “It’s consuming you.”

“Yes, it is.” His response surprises her once more. 

“I told you that I would help you, that I would help you to turn,” Rey answers. She wonders if she can reach out and touch him like when they did back in the hut on Ahch-To. That night when their hands touched is a moment she hates that has been on a constant replay since leaving Crait. 

“It’s not too late.”

“And if I come to the light, does that suddenly erase all of the evil that I have done?” Ben tethers on the edge of sounding like Kylo Ren in his tone, his gaze darkening. “Coming to the light doesn’t mean I am without sin.”

“No, but coming to the light means that you could begin to repair your mistakes.”

“There is no coming back from what I have done.” 

“I don’t believe that.”

“It also doesn’t change what I saw about you. About us.”

Rey’s breath catches when she thinks back to being in the elevator when he told her that when the time would come that she would be the one to turn and she would stand with him. She shakes her head at him vehemently.

“No, Ben. Snoke has manipulated you. The dark side has poisoned your mind with these images that there is no other way to live than in the darkness.”

“Tell me, Rey, what other way is there to live? Do I come to the Resistance where suddenly all is forgiven and I’m fighting alongside you and your friends? Does my mother stop seeing the monster that I am and begins to see me for the son that she was never there for when he was growing up?” Ben begins to shift to his feet as the tides within him begin to churn the familiar feeling of anger. It’s a feeling he knows all too well.

“Because if you think that just because I renounce my allegiance to the dark side, to the Sith, means that I can be Ben Solo again then you’re just as naive as I thought. This isn’t just some story with a happy ending, Rey! It doesn’t work out that way. Not for me.”

“And what ending do you think you have if you choose to stay where you are?” Rey fires back as she stands to face him. “Do you really desire to sit alone in a cold throne room and watch the galaxy burn down around you? You have people in your life who give a damn about you and you would rather push and destroy them!”

“No!” He reaches through their bond to take her by the shoulders, the action surges through them like electricity. “I have been shown a future in which none of it matters. The light, the dark, none of it. But what is more important to me is that future can be achieved alongside with you.” 

The admission slips out easily and hangs between them for a moment before Ben releases Rey’s shoulders.

“And that’s what I can’t figure out. Why would I be shown that we would be standing by each other’s side if you feel the only way to do that is to get me to turn to the light. I can’t just…turn, Rey. Don’t you see that? I can’t go back.” 

Rey is silent as Ben paces in front of her as his hands run through his dark hair in frustration. She can feel the storm reaching a greater height in him and she’s unsure how to weather this with him. Is he too far out into the sea? Could she reach him, or will she be pulled under with him?

She has faced the fury of Kylo Ren and his fiery saber, but she has never experienced the vulnerability of Ben Solo. In a way, it scares her more than any saber duel she has had with him.

“Ben,” she says finally as she reaches out to touch his arm. The feel of her fingertips stops his pacing and he turns on his heels to face her. Tears have welled in his eyes and Rey has to fight back from throwing her arms around his weakness to cradle him, to shelter him from the storm within.

“You’re not alone,” she whispers and the shake of his head frees a tear to slide down his scarred cheek. Without thinking, Rey’s hand reaches out to catch it and wipe it away.

“But I am. I offered you my hand and you didn’t take it,” he murmurs.

“I did want to take your hand. The next time you offer me your hand, I want to take Ben’s hand.” Taking a step closer, Rey takes his hand into hers and gives it a gentle squeeze, keeping her other hand on his face as her fingers trace the outline of the scar that their first fight left behind.

The tenderness and intimacy of the action sends a shiver through Ben and his breathing quickens as he focuses on the look in Rey’s eyes. Her trembling fingers on his face play against his skin like she’s stroking the most fragile piece of glass. He’s ready to break into a million pieces.

He shatters against her as his lips crash into hers in a hard, needy kiss. Rey feels the swell of fear and hope in his mind as she wraps her arms around his neck to draw herself closer to him. She knows they are diving into this storm and there is a great chance that they will crash and burn just like every time they’ve met before, but she knows Ben Solo is worth the fight. She can help him pick up the pieces if he only will let her.

“Ben, you’re not alone,” she repeats when they pull apart to catch their breath. Her voice is filled with a renewed conviction. “And I think this is one story that can have a happy ending.”

Before he can answer, the bond surges and Rey finds herself alone in her quarters. She curses under her breath as she closes her eyes to reach through the bond. She can feel that the storm within Ben is now calm and that’s enough for her for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. My apologizes for any mistakes as this is completely un-betaed and I'm totally out of writing practice.


End file.
